31 okt: Coronisch Tijdperk X: DE LUNCH

31 okt: Coronisch Tijdperk X: DE LUNCH

Zoon is thuis, want studiedag.
Moeder is thuis, want mamadag.
Vader is/werkt thuis, want Corona.

Zoon (opgewekt) komt aan tafel voor de lunch. Zijn ouders hebben hem slechts drie keer hoeven te vragen (waarvan 1 x sommeren) om aan tafel te komen. Dat is winst.

Zoon: Mam, ik heb nog een nieuwe afkorting voor je.
Hij kijkt me twinkelend aan.
Zoon: AFK.
Moeder: AFK?
Vader: “Amsterdams Fonds voor – ?”
Zoon: Away From Keyboard.
Hij kijkt me verwachtingsvol aan.
Moeder: Aha….

Moeder (na wat bezinktijd): En, lukt dat? Of krijg je nu ontwenningsverschijnselen?
Zoon: Hoezo?
Moeder: Nu je “Away From Keyboard” bent?
Zoon: Oh nee, want ik ben nog in de Realm.
Moeder: “In de Realm”?? (kijkt hulpeloos naar vader)

—————–

Zoon (opgewekt) loopt van tafel weg richting zijn computerterritorium. De lunch is klaar wat hem betreft. Hij heeft zijn bordje opgeruimd. Na veel bidden en smeken. Dat is winst.

Moeder: Ik had nog geen antwoord op mijn vraag.
Zoon: Nee liever niet.
Moeder: Wat voor antwoord is dát nou weer?
Zoon: (neemt plaats achter zijn computer) Over welke vraag had je ’t eigenlijk?
Moeder: (zucht) Ik had ’t over je gedrag en of je het zelf normaal vindt hoe je dan doet.

Stilte

Moeder: Weet je over welk gedrag ik ’t heb?
Zoon: Niet zo, denk ik.
Hij zet zijn koptelefoon op.
Ik kijk hulpbehoevend naar zijn vader.
Zoon: FUCK, NEE!! Ik ben doodgegaan!!!! Shit, ik ben dóódgegaan!
Een tempoversnellend geklik met de muis volgt.
Gelatenheid bij de ouders.
Wij moeten juist blij zijn met hoe lekker sociaal hij bezig is, vindt zoon. Hij zit niet zomaar achter de computer dag in, dag uit. Nee, hij communicéért met al z’n ‘matties’!
Even later…
Zoon: Jullie zijn de beste!
We kijken even zijn kant uit.
Vader: Dat zegt hij zeker ook tegen jou als je z’n kleren hebt gewassen?
Ik pers er een glimlach uit.
Zoon: Dankjewel!
Ik kijk op. Zijn toon en stem zijn hartverwarmend.
Zoon: Dankjewel, Tobias.

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